Someone Asa knows sent us an Email a while back. I want to share it with you now. I have removed her name and if she wants to let you know her identity, she is more than welcome to do so. It touched us deeply. I pray it causes you to think a little, heal a little, change a little.... Here goes.....
I thought you guys might find this very enlightening-
She was a graduate of Psychology at UNC. She even volunteered working for a suicide crisis hotline. She was just as ill as all she tried to help.
She set up a Gofundme (https://www.gofundme.com/priyab ) in December prior to her suicide back in January, to help her family pay off her student loans, funeral, and medical expenses, and gave the password to a friend. What she writes on her gofundme is so very very true and profound, I hope it helps give you more insight into how someone suffering thinks and feels. Especially her addressing suicide as selfish, and how she thought about it already for so very long, and explaining why she still was going to take her life .... I think, pray, her words will give you some reprieve. To me, it is even more telling that she was as educated and involved as you could ask anyone to be on mental health issues, and she still could not help herself, despite being able to help others- and despite those who loved her aware of how serious her illness was. I hope it will help ease some of the guilt, what if's, should I's, maybes- I know you are going through.
I want you to know that for as long as I, or someone in my circle of family or friends, live in Charleston, I (or they) will drop flowers off the bridge every year on Caleb's birthday in his remembrance, and say a prayer for your family.
I am currently working on a proposal for more additional preventive measures for suicide from the bridge in Charleston, and elsewhere, and will be sending to Sen. Chip Campsen, Barrett Mappus (Jules' father - http://thepresonfoundation.org/2015/08/05/whatever-it-takes/ ), the DOT, and Rep. Peter McCoy as they are working on finding solutions this year. I will send a copy to you both as well to let you know what options are being proposed.
I am also thinking of options to have a website created where people can set up pages (in private) for friends or family who they are concerned about who are suffering from depression, or they think may be contemplating suicide, or participating/living in very at risk behaviors (drugs/alcohol/staying in domestic violence situations, etc.)- where privately people can post the things they *would* have said, thought, remembered and posted had they heard that person had just died. Then, whoever initially set up the page for the person will give them access to it - and they can go and read all of the love, care, impact, etc. everyone has for them. Before things get too bad, or they are gone from this world.
I've just seen too many people pass away - and then in 3 days an overwhelming, outpouring of messages of love, memories, etc. pile in for them, (probably from a majority of people they didn't even realize cared or still had such love for them).... and ALL I can think of is - If that person would have been able to read all of this, hear all of these things, know how many people loved them, how many lives they touched without realizing it, how many people would have been there for them, would have dropped everything to come be by their side, take them away, help however.... would it have made a difference? Could it have saved them? Would they have been able to hear just the one or two things that could be what it takes to tip the scales, turn things around, give that person the extra whisper of hope to crawl out of their darkness.
And the only way we will ever know is to try. I do know there was a study done on 525 people who had been saved by emergency/lucky intervention and was prevented from committing suicide (when they were in an active attempt). Those people were kept track of over a 10, and 20 year period. After 20 years - only 6(!!!) of those 525 people had died by a subsequent suicide.
It sounds a bit crazy trying to type out the concept in just a paragraph or two - but my idea is somewhat similar to the article the lady wrote about finding out about her friend's death on Facebook. If someone's family, friends, colleagues, etc. can generate so many memorative (I may have taken liberty to make that word up) messages AFTER the fact - we need to find a way to do that BEFORE we lose them and see if it will make a difference ... if my crazy idea makes any sense?
Much love and prayers for now-
NAME REMOVED
No comments:
Post a Comment