This is something I've wanted to share for awhile. The idea of "emotional bullying". Caleb was a victim of this. Over the last few years, Caleb had become concerned with how many people "hated" him. If you knew Caleb, you would realize this was preposterous. He was so kind and friendly. But he really did have many people who treated him horribly. He had people who had been his friends years ago, but then when Caleb moved into new areas of his life, they felt left behind and told him that he thought he was "better than us". He had ex-girlfriends who said nasty things about him and to his face. He had friends of ex-girlfriends spread horrible rumors that were very untrue. He had friends who used manipulation and pity to try to get what they wanted from him and when they didn't get the result they wanted, would turn his friendship away unless he "played the game". I know all these things, because Caleb would tell me. He also mentioned these things to his guidance counselor, who he had become close to. Both of us agree that Caleb would share these events with a laugh, as if he was letting them roll off him. I would usually reply with something about how "teenagers are stupid".
Hindsight - each person, each event, each comment, chipped a little off of Caleb's view of himself. He didn't mention these situations to me or his guidance counselor as casual stories, but to say, "Look, look at these bullets coming at me. I don't know how to protect myself." None of us really knew how much he hated himself. We didn't know what he battled daily in his head. From his writings, we now know that he thought he was "messed up" and "unlovable". He was worried about being alone forever and never finding real connections with people who would love the real him.
Please take a moment to analyze the words you use and the expectations you put on others. All of us are human. We have no real idea of how our words effect another. We all hide our fears, hurts, and wounds from the world; some more than others. We all just want someone to love us and have our back, no matter what crazy thing we do or stupid mistake we make. Just love. Just love one another. Don't worry about the small things. They are insignificant. They are temporary. Just love.
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