Suicide Prevention Week - Part 3.

(This week, Sept. 10-16th, is National Suicide Prevention Week. Because this is something I know way too much about now, I'd like to share a small part of Caleb's story every day this week, hoping that it will resonate with someone else. If it does - immediately text or call a parent, a teacher, a friend, a pastor, and just say the words, "I really need help." Please, don't be scared to use those words.)

There are three things I wish I could have shared with Caleb. So, I hope they will help someone else:

1. This is temporary. I don't mean to minimize the struggle people go through with life long issues with depression. But what I mean is this specific struggle, this current pain, this point of hopelessness you feel right now - it is temporary. Struggles come and go. You never know who God will bring into your path tomorrow, who will have just the right word or tip that will make it better or easier. You will grow from this struggle and be stronger for it. It won't be the last struggle, but it won't last forever. Seek out new wisdom and keep searching for the answer. It will pass.

2. You have to do the work to get better, but you can't do it on your own. A friend of Caleb's, who he opened up to often, said that Caleb was obsessed with the idea that he had to help himself. That he couldn't depend on anyone else to make him better. He had to do it. It is true that no one has a "magic button" to make it all better. You will need to seek the information and then follow that information. But you can't find it on your own. You aren't thinking clearly and you actually need someone else to carry the burden WITH you. You are stronger when you have a team to help. It doesn't mean that you are weak or have given up. It means you are trying harder to survive when you ask for help.

3. The cliche' is true. When you take your life, you just transfer that pain to other people. Our family and Caleb's friends are living proof of that. He has friends that still struggle daily with the loss of Caleb in their everyday routines. His brother's lives will never be the same. They have been amazingly strong these past 7 months, but this is a loss that they will carry with them forever. And Sean and I will never be the same. I have described it feeling like a heavy emptiness. It never goes away. When I'm laughing or enjoying myself with others, it is still there; I can still feel it. There are moments I can't breathe. And moments I don't know if I can go on. I literally feel like I'm carrying Caleb's burden now.

Don't keep yourself in this pain and don't transfer it to the ones who love you. Ask for help. Don't wait another day to begin the path of healing and peace.