Sitting here tonight, and I'm finally feeling a small amount of peace. The last few days have been hard, with last night and this morning the hardest. We basically had 5 different memorials in 4 days. Each one was needed and special. Each one, we were able to comfort others and had life giving words provided to us, as well. But we are hitting that place where we are drained. I have barely had a chance to look at the FB posts on my wall and have not even glanced at the memorial site. Not because I can't; it's just been so busy this week. All good things, but tiring - emotionally and physically. I am so looking forward to comforting myself with your words and stories of Caleb.
A good friend of Caleb's said that settling into normality this week was the hardest. It is for me, too. I had to put his lunch box up so I wouldn't see it each morning. I didn't know what to do with his bath towels after washing them. I constantly wonder, "Are the other boys really alright, or are they just saying that?" It will be hard for a long while.
But tonight, I'm alright. Our pastor and family took us out for dinner, and for the first time, I was okay in public. My thoughts weren't constantly focused on Caleb. We had good friends over this afternoon that let us just talk through all our feelings. It was freeing. Mornings I've found are the hardest. And morning is just a few hours away. But I'm going to keep filling my day with the love and support we have been overwhelmed with this past week. Sean and I cannot thank all of you enough for how you've helped us. Every picture, every comment, every message is so appreciated.
Love to you all!
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